“I am Sorry. I seriously have no idea why I did this. I love you. Please don’t leave me.”
“Its Okay! Forget it. We will never discuss about it in future. I love you too.”
& they both hugged each other.
This Story is about Disha. Disha was a very simple, ordinary girl. She always believed in fairy tales & prince charming stuffs. For intention of not hurting her people might call her ‘cute’ but she knows very well that she is neither ‘beautiful’ nor ‘cute’. When all her friends had boyfriends & girlfriends, she never approached any one though she had a crush but it was only teenage crush. She always had a strong belief that ‘All boys are dogs’ until she met Vansh.
Disha met Vansh 3 years back through a mutual friend. Their friendship turned into best friendship & then Love.
Vansh was a tall, handsome, decent, talented boy. It was very obvious for any girl to fall for him at very first sight. But in their case, this was not ‘love at first sight’. They started with a normal friendship & God knows when they both fell in love with each other. Sms, chats played the most important role in it.
They were more than serious about this relation. Like any other couple they planned lot of things about future, even the color of the couch they gonna buy for their dream house. The relationship was perfect according to Disha.
This day, Disha caught him with another girl who claims to be his girlfriend from past three months.
“Not Possible. We are together for more than half year now.”
She was sad, hurt, angry & confused but Vansh’s one sorry was enough for her to forgive him & forget everything. They were together & happy.
“What? You forgave Vansh ? Are you mad?”
“Come on buddies! He loves me & so do I. Yesterday he had an option of leaving me forever but he rejected the other girl. What does that mean?”
By this time, for her friends, she was a real stupid girl. But according to Disha, she was just in true love. She considered herself lucky for having Vansh in her life.
Things went normal, though they used to fight a lot but these things are considered normal in any serious, true relationship. Unlike other couples, they were more like best friends.
One night after their first anniversary, they had another silly fight, & this time also it was Disha’s fault but she knew that Vansh will never leave her. Next morning she called Vansh for apology. She loved the way he expressed his love after fighting. She was waiting for him to receive the call & say-
“I love u so much Dishu, & I hate it when you get angry.”
But, this time, what Vansh said was not easily acceptable.
“I think we should separate.”
“Why? Just because of that fight? You know I love you & you love me too. You do.. right?”
“I am confused. Till last night I was sure that I love you but now I m confused. Let’s just be friends as we were before. I want to concentrate on my career please.”
“Career.. Fine.. I don’t want to be a speed breaker for you.. But I love you & will always do.. Work hard.. I am here with you as your best friend.. Okay..”
She was sad. She was regretting her last fight. May be she deserve what Vansh did. But in her heart, she had a very strong feeling that he still loves her & after few years they will be together again.
She was scared, that what if any other girl took her place. But any how she managed to smile in public & hide her fear. Every now & then she asked Vansh whether he love someone else or not.. He has any girlfriend or not. Every time she got a ‘no’. She was happy & praying for his career to get stable as soon as possible.
But just few months before their first break-up anniversary-
“Hey Disha! wassup?”
“Hey Shreyans! Wow nice to see you”
“Hey you met Vansh’s new girl friend?”
“What? Ha ha.. Vansh don’t have any girl friend. He is busy with his career right now.”
“Well in that case, Preeti’s another name is career.” He laughed as if He was laughing at all what Disha was praying for from past 1 year.
“Not possible. I am his best friend. He shares everything with me.”
“Well, you must go & ask him. I bet I am right. All the best. Tada!!”
“Buhbye..”
She was confused by now. All old memories were bouncing in her head. Her mind was about to burst. She decided to ask Vansh.
“Hey buddy! Are you free? Can we talk?”
“Something important?”
“Yeah! Sort of..”
“Ahlrite!”
“What is going on between you & Preeti?”
“What are you talking about?”
“She is your girl friend.. right..?”
“Listen, I told you I don’t love you anymore..”
“Then what was all that.. I mean the relation we had..”
“I loved you at that time, but its just that it didn’t materialized.”
No words left. It didn’t materialize for Vansh as if it was some business deal. But still she cried, she begged. This was quite surprising for people around her. In fact it was surprising for her as well because she never begged or cried for anything or anyone. But, He doesn’t love her anymore. May be he never did. No one can answer this.
According to Vansh, he was in true love with Disha but now he doesn’t love her anymore. Is it possible? Because feelings of true love never fade. No matter how many times u fight.
She was waiting for her prince charming & now when she found him, she is not his cindrella anymore.
She trust Vansh when he said he was in true love with her & that’s why she is still waiting for him to return
People around her think, she is Stupid but according to Disha, she is just in true love.
Stuti Jain 
WOW!!!! Awesome!!!! written brilliantly!!!
Hats Offff!!!
It was Amazing!!
Cheers! for your 1st Post!
Adi 🙂
wow !!!!kewl story !!!! like dat !
i know a similar story…bt in tht..da reason ws …ssmthng else…
nce writingg….luvd it….
regardzz 2 dishaa….
i m in a great dillema..should i praise the story first…or ur wonderful sketches?…awsome work.keep it up
hey !! superb story yar… seriously too good.. its jst lik i m watching a movie..
Hi!!!! u did n excellent job! actually i don’t have words how touching it is!
It’s so confusing…nothing left to say.
I ‘m scared this story sounds real…….but pray to God nobody should suffer from what did they…….a separation……..if not the case….then congrats dude u had tried your best to bring life to the story…….regards to Disha !!
lovely stroy yaar……I simply love it….!
Nice Work!
gr8….
keep it up…
I also believe in true love but she doesn’t and ppl around us call me stupid cz according to them i can easily get a better girl…
But only i knw what i feel 4 her and i’ll always feel the same 4 her….always….
I connected to ur story…
Keep writing such good stories…
well done
-Aakash
hey nice story… written beautifully… i liked it
nice story….
i jst hope this one’s not real,bt its common 2 jst get around of these kinds of stories oftn..
true love love..hard to find…bt once found u nvr look back…
stuti mite b rite,being in love with vansh…..bt spoilin her own life n fun practically..
bt hats off to the story…..beatifuuly writtn,..
@akash did u say “Stuti mite be rite” !!!!
Don’t u think it should be “Disha” in place of “Stuti” there???
Read the story once more dude… 🙂 🙂
miss stuti jain u have got a great talent of sketching ur imagination….n i feel good to be 1 of the observers of ur imagination……awesome work and keep it as high as u can……:-}
HI,
Awesome story…N this is totally realted to me this 13th 2010 i got break off n tht person ws truely loved me n suddenly a small turn off…..n 2nd girl came in to his life n they r getting married..jst coz of this my family disturbed coz i spoke to them regarding tht guy..we wer supposed to get married…i begged infront og him i cried bt nthing could happen….He abused me he hit me on the road infront of crowd bt still i convenced him coz frm mah side it ws true love…i could c myself in disha…but evrything is over nw my frnds says m stupid pyscho lover…bt game over….d only left is my memories n i knw i ll deserve e better guy…coz in nycase in love u cant hit ur love..bt he did…i went into depression i take sleeping pill for sleep…coz wenever m alone i always think for him..
nthing to say thts all about my story.
Regards
Priyanka
Thank you everyone.. 🙂
@ Priyanka.. Getting into depression for someone who hit u is not fair.. Just show him that u can be happy even without him.. & in this story.. Vansh never physically hurt Disha..Thats why she is still in love with him..If he would have hurt her physically then it would have been stupidity to love that person.. & if u know the true meaning of TRUE LOVE than u surely deserve someone better..
@Priyanka Hello dear,,, I would advise u to watch- “little Manhattan”- a movie I bet u will enjoy really much and this movie will surely drag you out of depression. this movie is a Child Romantic Comedy, so funny as well as full of lessons….u must watch it.I promise u will enjoy it….
@Priyanka oooppppsss….I am really Sorry,,,I used a wrong word there-“advice” I should have used “suggest”..sorry for that.. there is no delete option here on wordpress otherwise I wud have deleted that post of mine,,
Its a sin to fall blindly in love for someone………………..
also there is no license to certify true love……………..
but its really dreadful to be betrayed in love…………….
it may hurt alot……
i believe the writer must add a conclusion to that……………..
i think that it should be…………….
love suks……….
(acc.to this story)
Love doesn’t suck. It is just how you take it. Love is the most pure & divine feeling. But sometimes people just take it as fun. That is wrong.
awesome yaar……………gr8…………no words………..:):)
touching story..
all the best 🙂
we need 2 derive some conclusion kya??????????:P:P
Yes.. 🙂
Jinhe mein pass kheta hun wahi kyun durr hote hai….
Jinhe mein chahu apnana wahi majboor hote hai..
Joh pucha maine ki kyun hota hai sabkuch saath mere hi
To dil bole naseebo ke yahi dastoor hote hai…
Awesome story.. accdng. to me Disha was right at her place.
“It is very difficult to find such loving people in this world now”
fantastic story…very well written……I wonder y u stopped writing!!!! please write more.I want to read more of such stories…
It summarized ur thinking, the theme/moral of the story-
“true love is eternal, u will continue loving ur beloved even if he/she stops loving u or doesn’t love u”…..a bit similar is my case…. 😛
But anyway….. very fine write up,, please resume ur writing….
and yes, just one more thing- I have written on a similar topic on my blog here-
http://shantihp.blogspot.com/2010/03/is-it-love.html …. please have a look there, and please review my writing(any suggestions/comments or improvement in my writing skill)…..I will be really obliged to u if u make some suggestions about my writing…
Thanking u
Shanti….
Hello Stuti,
I think the three “must haves” of a good story should be these-
(1) Captivating – It should be captivating meaning that from the moment the reader sees the first line, he/she is completely glued to the whole story. For making the story captivating one can try for introducing various twists and turns in the story or use some unnatural or out of expectations events.
(2) Relating – It should be relating to users, I mean the users should be able to relate themselves to the characters in the story. For example story revolving around College life or Story having some Love story elements in them are, in most of the cases successful in making their impacts on the reader.
(3) Realistic – The story should be realistic, meaning the reader should be fooled into believing the story to be actually a real life story. Take for example Chetan Bhagat’s FPS, thousands of readers had mailed him after reading his novel asking him how is his Girlfriend Neha Cherian doing, are they married, was it real and all that…This despite the reality that Chetan Bhagat had actually cooked up his Love story in the Novel…
So on these parameters I analysed your story and here is the result-
(1) Captivating – You get 5/10 in this criteria. It was captivating but not as much as you could have made it, like if you would have added some love making scenes (even holding hands for consoling each other), then I bet the story must have caught readers’ interest.
(2) Relating- You get 7/10 in this criteria. It was very relating as it involved a Love story, But still you could have added some College life moments in it(like meeting in College Canteen, going on first Date after bunking classes etc.) to make it more relating.
(3) Realistic- You get 6/10 in these criteria. When I first read your story, I had a first flash in my mind that yes this could be actually your true, real life story but one more cursory look on the story and I thought No, this is not a real life story, this is a cooked up story (Of Course the story will always be a Cooked up one but One can make it look as real as possible). I don’t know what made me think so, but something is amiss in the story that is making it look just a bit unreal. I am yet to figure out that something.
On the whole I would give it a 6/10 rating.
One more loophole in the story- its abrupt ending or you can say, the absence of Conclusion in the story, you leave Disha waiting for the return of her beloved. This story either needs a good positive Conclusion or its sequel- LOVE OR STUPIDITY.. Part-2 🙂 🙂
That’s all about my feedback on your writing skill.
But Just one more thing, I know I am no good writer myself, so of course I have no right to analyse your story in this detailed way, but your beautiful story forced me to analyse it this way. But analysing it this way doesn’t mean that I am trying to find faults with your writing, It just means that I really wish to read some more better stories written from you to keep me entertained.
With Love and Regards(to Stuti-the writer, Dreamer and fantasizer)
Shanti
Thanks for noticing this much buddy. Its really sweet of u.
But there few points I would like to tell u about this story.
(1) Captivating- as u said ” you would have added some love making scenes (even holding hands for consoling each other),”
Well this story was actually meant to b an innocent love story. As i mentioned there, the relationship of Disha & Vansh was more like best frnds not like lovers..
Including love making scenes or other stuffs would have directed the story more towards other direction (somewhere far from the main topic)
(2) Relating – “you could have added some College life moments in it(like meeting in College Canteen, going on first Date after bunking classes etc.) to make it more relating.”
Well. This story is about Disha & the breakup she faced. Not about how Vansh & Disha met. Again I wl repeat. Adding too much unnecessary stuff drags story somewhere far from the hidden meaning & sometimes it may even change the whole meaning of the story. & that’s something not so good for a writer I guess.
Now let us head towards the 3rd & last point mentioned by u.
(3) Realistic- Let me declare, this story is 98% real.
& conclusion is to b drawn by readers. I left that space because I want people to think over it. I want people to comment whether disha is in true love or she is stupid, waiting for someone who may be don’t even care about her emotions & feelings.
Lastly, Thanks a ton for your suggestions. I will surely keep them in mind while writing next post.
Hope to hear more from you.
Thanks..
-Stuti Jain..
My Goodness !!!!! U are terrific !!! awesome !!!! talking like a skilled, professional writer…!!!!
Ohhhh, I tell you, I adore you, I am just going crazy about you…. I have just become a huge fan of “Stuti-the writer” ……
kudos to you…
You countered all my points so ruthlessly, at the same time soooo skillfully….. Can’t believe it !!!!!
U are Great !!!!
Anyway… here is my take again-
(1) Captivating – I entirely agree with your Counterpoints , no comments here.
(2) Relating – I don’t agree here complete with you, at least you could have added some moments to specify how they became Best Friends-may be they helped each other in times of crisis or so…I don’t think writing about one or two such incidents would have been unnecessary or irrelevant …
(3) Realistic- Ohhhhhh…… so this is real !!!!!! My God !!!! I really feel soooo Sorry for Disha.
I will personally add another seperate message(comment) for Disha from my side.
But yes, I am sooooo Sorry for misreading the story and saying that its not real….
(I told you I am not a good writer myself 😛 )….really sorry for that….hope u don’t mind
& the Conclusion??? Well, its fine, but there are more than one ways to conclude this story and if you wanted your readers to draw some conclusion then you could have better put up some question marks, some deliberate, unanswered lines that would have forced the readers to post their Comments about Conclusion. I think this small part is missing….
Rest, you are en expert on writing story, I can’t comment more about it..you write extremely well …..
Plzzzzz Keep writing
(and yes, I will post my views about Disha, her Love story and some messages to her; some time later in a seperate Comment….. Ohhhkkk??? )
bbye ..Thank you so much for posting such a specific, point-wise counterpoints to my feedback….
Shanti 🙂 🙂 🙂
Here are few lines extracted from my story.
” Disha met Vansh 3 years back through a mutual friend. Their friendship turned into best friendship & then Love.”
This is how they met.
“They started with a normal friendship & God knows when they both fell in love with each other. Sms, chats played the most important role in it.”
& this is how they fell in love with each other.
“Well, its fine, but there are more than one ways to conclude this story and if you wanted your readers to draw some conclusion then you could have better put up some question marks, some deliberate, unanswered lines that would have forced the readers to post their Comments about Conclusion. I think this small part is missing….”
Well here I have to agree with you. I think you are right. This part is missing. 😦
And dont feel Sorry for Disha.. As far as i know her, she is not sorry for herself. 🙂
Thanks for helping me out & telling me positives & negatives about my writing. As I m a very new writer, these kind of feedback are really helpful for me. 🙂
Thanks a lot
Hope to hear more from you.
-Stuti Jain. 🙂
No more Comments (about improvements) on your writing now….
U are just terrrific, awesome and fabulous (in terms of a writer).. 🙂 🙂 🙂
Just one request from you- I want more of such stories to feed myself….
plzz keep writing, I am sure you have a brilliant, hidden and unexplored quality of writing skill deep inside you, you just have to polish it and it will turn into Diamond 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Please don’t let this quality die by not continuing writing…. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Thanking you……….
Your admirer (Writing skills)
-Shanti 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
well Disha ke saath meri story bahot zyada miltii hai… I really can feel k Disha pe kya beeti hogi…. But I wanna say Disha deserves much more better prsn 🙂
@ Stuti- awsome work.. n ur skeches r jst tooooooooooooo gud…
Love u sis… n all the very best kip writing 🙂
Thanks.. luv u too… ❤
A perfect recipe to write chetan bhagat Novel Check this http://ritesh.us/2010/10/18/lets-write-a-novel-chetan-bhagat%E2%80%99s-way/
hii stuti … nice story dear… i have no words for explain… finally only one line.. YE PYAR KYUN HOTA HAI 😦